Saturday, August 30, 2008

Announcing: Formation of a New Political Party and My Bid for World Domination in 2012


"First they came for the Fundamentalist Christian Right-Wing Pedophiles, and I said nothing.
Then they came for the post-9/11 War Contractors, and I said nothing.
Then they came for the Right-Wing Electronic Media Wingnuts, and I said nothing.
Then they came for me, Dick Cheney ... "

For Immediate Release


It's Midnight in America

Pompous AC is forming a new political force to be called The Other-Two-Parties-are-Fascist Party. So far, I'm the only card carrier.

The Other-Two Parties-are-Fascist Party was created over "our" concern that the world is cooking in a stew of petroleum waste, and this is happening as a direct result of corporate fascist rule. Therefore, fascist rule of the United States must come to a rapid and decided end before all hominids on this ball of rock hurtling through space are poisoned and baked to death.

It can only happen if I take charge and make my bid for world domination in 2012. This will take some doing, the "gentle" reader mutters malignantly.

We have no choice. It's The Other-Two Parties-are-Fascist Party ... or certain annihilation.

It's The Other-Two-Parties-are-Fascist Party... or four more years of environmental hell and the eventual immolation of all intelligent life ... not to mention bad cable programming, scores of weird "suicides" at decisive moments, meaningless warfare, poisoned food additives ... The Other-Two Parties-are-Fascist Party is the only escape from the sulphurous hole opening up beneath your very feet, the gases of hell creeping up to your throat to choke you into mortal submission.

Corporate fascism must be legislated out of existence so the world can be freed from the death hold of the bottomfeeders who are killing us. No revolution is necessary. The Other-Two-Parties-are-Fascist Party will revive the sleeping justice system and use it legitimately to stop the life-draining exterminators in the boardroom.

You have no options, when you think it through. It's the Other-Two-Parties-are-Fascist Party - "us" - or four more years of Apocalyptic disintegration. It's the OTPAFP with the stupid acronym - or the probable discomforts of planetary death. (That may have to be "our" motto.)

Think it over, Bubs. The Party is giving you time to consider ... four more years, in fact ... but in 2012, when the adrenals lapse, breathing is forced, and the lesions begin to spread, we'll see eye to eye. (Party official(s) will be taking the liberty, before the next election cycle, of registering three-fourths of the American population - the statistical percentage that believes it opposes fascism - to the OTPAFP, anyways.)

- AC (for World Dominator in 2012)

1 comment:

Peter Greene said...

I dunno, man. 'World Dominator'...sounds a little dangerous. How about 'Primary Nonarchic Stimulator'?

Still, at least you understand the technologies of postmodern rulership better than the yutzes currently running for Head Puppet. I bet an AC-dominated world could be damn interesting.

I still want to hold my title under the new regime, tho.

Lord Reptor.